In a word, happiness.
So what makes me feel happy? I’ve seen “Happy Lists” around the
web—some blogs I follow post these weekly—but I’d like to stress how
Monday Musings are opportunities to dig deeper and (hopefully) notice
something you hadn’t before about yourself or just life. Maybe your
puppy makes you smile, but what specifically about your puppy
makes you smile? The way he adorably runs around in circles chasing his
own tail? The way he’s always waiting for you at the door when you get
home? The way he’s fluffy? It’s quite possible that you love your puppy for simply being, but just give it some thought :)
Lazy afternoons with friends: I love hanging out
with my friends in general; sometimes we make plans to go out into the
city to shop and eat good food, and sometimes we just hang out at the
park to swing. I may be biased, but I think my friends are amazing.
I love catching up with them, talking about important things, talking
about unimportant things, not really doing anything at all.
Getting along with family: My family is no poster
family. We don’t eat at the same table. We don’t even eat at the same
time. Celebrations consist of a mere meal out. If we decide to celebrate
at all. It’s not as bad as it sounds, and I don’t think we actually
mind that much. We live together, we love each other, and we look out
for one another (most of the time). I cherish the moments we hang out
like friends: learning about photography with my dad, chilling with my
mom at a coffee shop, watching Korean drama and anime with Ken, watching
childhood favorites with Danny. We haven’t always hung out like this; I
used to be the kid who was always getting into fights, so I was a bit
hard to get along with, but I’ve been trying to bond and be a better
sister/daughter.
When people start conversations with me: People probably always
feel like this, so I probably shouldn’t have to worry about this at
all, but sometimes I’m afraid to start conversations with people,
because I think I’m bothering them. I think if they want to talk to me, they’ll talk to me, but if all people thought that way, nobody would ever talk! When people start conversations with me, I feel important (oh my, you want my opinion?? From plain ol’ me??).
When I’m able to hold the conversation: I’m shy, so
when I’m around people I don’t know, I shut down and put on a poker
face. On the outside, my face is probably screaming ew don’t talk to me, but on the inside, my brain is thinking wow you’re so cool, I’m not worthy of your coolness, but please talk to me.
My replies are short, but only because I’m so nervous about what to
say, not because I’m impatient to get away from you. Being able to hold a
one-on-one conversation is a very large feat for me, even with friends
I’m supposedly really close to.
When I successfully tell a story: I don’t know if I
have ADHD or something, but I tend to forget what I’m trying to say when
I take too long, or I’m always at a loss for words, so being able to
recount a whole story is kind of a big deal. I guess this is
similar to “being able to hold a conversation.” I’d also like to think
that after a story I was a source of enlightenment. It’s great feeling
intellectual.
People laughing with me at my jokes: Or more like
“people laughing with me at my retelling of jokes I found on Tumblr,”
because god forbid I tell my own joke. I like being the source of
laughter, not because I like the attention—okay fine, maybe I do a bit,
but just a bit—but because offering someone even a glimpse of happiness gives me the warm-fuzzies and is incredibly satisfying.
Laughing until my non-existent abs hurt: Of course,
experiencing it myself is that much more satisfying! I guess the only
thing that could beat it would be laughing until my existent abs hurt.
The feeling AFTER exercising: The feeling before (dread), during (pain), and right after (sweat) exercising, not so much, but afterwards? Yes. After
exercising, the endorphins are kicking, my body is probably thanking
me, and I feel productive. It’s the kind of productivity in which you’ve
worked to accomplish something without feeling mentally exhausted.
Independence: I was telling my mom how I’m afraid of
driving, because my sense of perception from the driver’s seat, or
rather, from the seat overlooking the driver’s seat since I’ve never sat
at the driver’s seat to drive, is skewed. I said, “I have no driving
skill,” to which she replied, “You don’t have life skills in general.” Thanks.
But it’s true haha. I’m the kind of person who would rather browse the
supermarket for hours than ask an employee to point me in the right
direction. So when I do something independently, it is to be noted. I
think that’s why I’m so excited to go off on my own to start college.
Other acts of independence that make me smile are late nights out with
friends and starting my own conversations.
Knowing how things work: To me, making connections
and feeling mindblown is a proof of intellect, or at least of growth. I
like walking down the sidewalk, seeing a gap or indentation in between
slabs of concrete, knowing that they were left there purposefully in the
case of thermal expansion, and not assuming that it was because the
construction workers found hauling over multiple, smaller slabs of
concrete was easier than placing one long slab of concrete. I like
smelling food and knowing that I’m actually inhaling little food
particles, so essentially, I’m already eating the food with my nose.
Thank you Physics 1.
Cafes: I like sitting down unnoticed while observing
the bustle of life around me. The aroma of food and drinks filling the
air doesn’t suck too much either. Neither does actually ingesting the
food and drinks. Yup, and. All in or nothing, right?
Tumblers, mugs: They give me the false sense of sophistication.
image source
Oh how snarky comebacks make me smile. I like big, thick ceramic mugs
that give a hearty clunk when you set them down. Another satisfying
sound is that of a freshly baked pie being set on a hard counter.
Smart casual outfits: Another false sense of
sophistication, but also a sense of accomplishment. I could have rolled
out of bed and slapped on sweats and a t-shirt, but did I? No! I put on
real pants and a real shirt. But if I don’t have to get out of the
house, there’s not a chance that I’ll wear normal clothes. Once I had to
leave the house just to get lunch with my family, so I slapped on
whatever, and my mom said, “If you dress like this in college, then
you’ll never get a boyfriend. We need to get you some new clothes.” Hey,
hey, new clothes. It would be a crime to deny my mother of her wishes.
Giving into my feels: Having endured and survived
high school, I still don’t think I got that whole high school
experience. I’ve never been to a rugby game, which is my school’s
equivalent to an American school’s American football game, I’ve never
snuck out of the house, I’ve never gone clubbing, I’ve never drank
alcohol, I’ve never dated, I’ve never obsessed over a boy band, I’ve
never committed a crime, I’ve never murdered anyone, but I’d totally
kill it at a game of Never Have I Ever. Haha, but in all honesty, I’m
not a wild child and I’d consider myself a pretty contained person (to
my friends: opinions?), so once in awhile I like to give into
my feels, yell at fictional characters, cry over fictional characters,
and <sings>let it go</sings>.
Singing when nobody’s paying attention: Because
singing when people are paying attention is too much pressure and no fun
at all. My favorite thing to do is mindlessly sing as I’m doing
homework, suddenly hear one brother joining in from another room, and
then hear the other brother joining in from another floor. We exchange
lines, echo each other, and when we get as far into the song as we can
until nobody can remember any more of the verses, we sink back into
silence as if nothing had happened.
Musty pages: The crinkling of a used up notebook as
you flip through it. The smell of aged paper as you wander through the
bookstore. The sprinkling of dust as you pull the bound pages from the
shelf. The inked etchings of handwritten letters… YAAAAAAAAAAAAAS!
Little things: Finding new music AKA finding Jesus,
pretty fonts, good lighting, immortalizing a moment via camera, enough
sleep, air con, big fluffy pillows, ice cream, compliments, my blog (if I
do say so myself), looking back on the day and feeling productive.
What makes you smile?Labels: monday musings
